


5 Times Sam said 'no' to Bucky, and 1 Time he said 'let's do it'

by d__T



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, captain america: civil war - Fandom
Genre: 5 + 1, Feels, Mild Dissociation, ambiguously in Wakanda, h/c
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6911863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d__T/pseuds/d__T
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky starts healing & laying ghosts to rest.</p><p>5+1 fic written because Sam and Bucky give me life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky waffles about the question for the entire car ride. Back and forth, an endless debate. And then, as they’re waiting for Steve, he gives up, gives in, takes that risk.

“Can you move your seat up?”

“No.”

The answer is brusque, and he is surprised. His smile is just a faint flicker, and then he slides himself over to the middle of the small car. Better.


	2. Chapter 2

They’d spent the last week working on his new arm. Lighter, smoother functioning. Dr. Bukelwa Ndala  _ call me Bukelwa, please _ hadn’t said faster or stronger. He didn’t ask for those things, but he suspects that even if they made it weaker, he’d still be stronger because of the lighter weight.

_ Would they make me weaker? _

He frowns.

“Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“Bukelwa. Would she make me weaker? Without asking?”

Sam frowns. “Absolutely not.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, Bucky.” Sam smiles at him, warm and reassuring.


	3. Chapter 3

What’s the worst that can happen?  _ What’s he gonna do, stop me? _

“Can I have a cookie?”

The reply is immediate, and said with a smile. “Nah.”

Bucky takes one anyway, even as Sam tries to swat his hand.


	4. Chapter 4

His fingers close around the glass. Four metallic ticks on actual glass. He picks it up, staring at it, watching the light shift in the lines of it. It does not break.

He’s struck with the sudden urge to smash it anyway, throw it down and let the broken glass spray over his bare feet.

He’s imagining the perfect curved edges, the cut light living in the corners of it. He feels it, everything sharp now.

There’s a gentle hand on his wrist, unafraid of the cool metal, or his strength. The voice that follows is firm.

“Bucky, no. Look at me. Give me the glass.”

It takes him a moment to lower his arm and relax his fingers from around the glass.

“Yeah, you got this. Just like that, Bucky.”


	5. Chapter 5

The thing is, they  _ can’t _ stop him. They really can’t. He’s not fully sure they want to. He doesn’t want to find out. There’s no comfort in being uncageable.

He goes to the library. In the dead of night, with a flashlight. There are many things the holes in his brain have consumed and will never give back, but libraries are easy to get into.

He goes to the library, finds a book of maps through time and watches the borders of countries change over a hundred years. He pairs it with a stack of history books, flicking through by dates. He remembers- enough.

He’s not sure- not sure if he’s more afraid of what the holes in his memory are hiding, or of the things he remembers.

Slowly, he presses his hands flat against the table between the books and pushes himself to his feet. It doesn’t match.

_ Sam said it wouldn’t match _ .

He puts the books away like he was never there.


	6. +1

He goes to the library again, this time in the day. The books come easily to his hands now.

_ No ma’am, I don’t need help. Just browsing. Have a lovely day. _

He brings one of them to Sam. He points to an open page, a photograph in black and white.

“I did this. I want my files.”

Sam looks at it, looks at Bucky.

“Are you going to hurt yourself, or lay them to rest?”

Bucky shrugs.

“Yeah.”

Sam considers this and seems to come to some kind of conclusion.

“Do you want me near for that?”

Bucky remains silent for a long moment, fingers picking at the inside of his hoodie pocket.

“Yeah.”

“C’mon, let’s do it.”


End file.
